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Friday, December 31, 2010

The Tao of Weight Loss and Management

Just wanted to put down a few words of encouragement. First of all, thank you for trusting me enough to try my program. I found very good results from this. But I had to get serious first. Being serious means:

*Saying NO to coworkers that will bring doughnuts or white flour garbage desserts (There's a reason these people are in the 250 club).

*Sticking to an exercise routine that works for you. Make sure you do weights AND the cardio AND the floorwork (Build muscle, increases endurance and starts your day).

*Telling yourself that you are a work in progress and you are creating a more powerful, more intense and attractive you, with the determination of the Terminator.

*Stick out the first 10-12 days with an IRON will. If you get discouraged, call me. Ill even come to your house in the evenings and put you through the paces with me if you want. And I have awesome workout cds.

*Remember, you are NOT eliminating carbs, you are inducing ketosis through the COMPLETE elimination of white flour and excess sugar. I don't care if you have a few wheat crackers, but for the first 10-12 days, i would suggest NOTHING with flour.

*Here are some suggested ideas that worked for me:

1. cheese wrapped in turkey or ham

2. tuna melt on wheat bread

3. tomato caprese (tomato slices, white cheese, italian)

4. dried seaweed (vietnamese store)

5. pork chops

6. popcorn

7. apples and oranges (dollar store)

Gwen and I had a great talk. She asked about Lean Cuisines which I said NO. The portions are small and you do NOT want any processed foods!! NONE!! No Lean Cuisines, no Hot Pockets, Nothing in a box or a can. Eat fresh fruits and meats that you cook yourself. You dont have to be miserable, just change things around a bit.

Good luck guys. Ill be checking in on the 14th of January. I'm very proud of you all for trying. Give me some good news.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Exercise and Diet Chart

Dietary and Exercise Checklist


Weight Day 1__________ (be honest)

Mark these off as you accomplish them:

Home Training Session 1

Home Training Session 2

Home Training Session 3

Home Training Session 4

Home Training Session 5

Weight Training Session 1

Weight Training Session 2

Weight Training Session 3

Aerobic Activity 1

Aerobic Activity 2

Aerobic Activity 3

Weight Day 7__________

Weekly Review

  1. Did you avoid white flour like the cast of Jersey Shore avoids libraries?

  1. Did you push yourself to meet your exercise goals? If you crossed off 7 out of 11, you are off to a good start. I’m super proud of you. Most people would quit.

  1. Did you get Tupperware and actually use it?

  1. Did you eat five small meals a day?

  1. Did your weight drop slightly?

If you messed up or couldn’t answer yes to all the questions, just highlight the one you are going to work on, and repeat. Remember, if you used this checklist, YOU ARE ON THE RIGHT PATH.

The Juggernaut Diet

Here is the diet plan I have used to successfully get the body I wanted. Good luck.

The Juggernaut Diet By Rob Garcia

I have tried to lose and maintain my weight my entire life. It has never worked until I applied logic to it. I used the following things and lost 23 pounds in 1.2 months. I have kept off the weight for 5 months and have never been hungry. I have lost fat off my belly, my back, and my face got thinner. My social life should have improved as well but I attribute that more to me being an unpopular dick that is too self absorbed. I’m a life coach, not a miracle worker.

The 5 factors of weight loss and body shaping are the following:

1. Diet

For the first 10-12 days, you want to put your body in an advanced state of ketosis. This means you deprive it of white flour and empty carbs and then your body will start eating fat from the inside. Your friends will try to tempt you. Tell them to kiss your ass and follow these rules:

1. No beer, switch to Bacardi and Diet for these 10-12 days. Beer is like eating bread. We want no white flour or any of the ingredients used to make bread in your body.

2. Get Tupperware TODAY. Make your lunch at home and take it to work with you. Do not give in at work and eat in the cafeteria. Portion sizes are ridiculous.

3. Eat 5-7 times a day but in much smaller quantities. I eat every three hours.

4. When you go to a bar, get chicken wings. No sandwiches or pizza.

5. No fast food. None. Not even so called healthy stuff on the menu.

6. No processed food. No Lean Cuisines or anything in a box. COOK YOUR OWN FOOD. YOU ARE A GROWNUP. Pack your lunch the night before work and get a mini cooler.

7. (Optional step for those that are SERIOUS about this) For breakfast, empty some oatmeal and two spoonfuls of flax seed into a glass of water. Mix without heating and drink. It’s completely gross looking but is a great breakfast and will tide you over.

8. Eat more water soluble veggies (cucumbers, tomatoes, and watermelon) and remember that Italian dressing is fat free or very low cal. Remember to up your fiber intake. Apples, oatmeal, wheat germ.

Here is the list of accepted foods and snacks:

White cheese

Almonds and various nuts



Water soluble veggies (tomatoes and cucumbers)


Bacon (god bless this diet)


Wheat Thins or Triscuits

Any fruits



Cottage Cheese

Here is the banned list:






Pancakes or waffles



Bread crumbs



God help me, Beer




2. Energy

Go to GNC today and buy Jack3d. Its a supplement that has creatine and caffeine. It’s delicious and will give you energy for days. It will also intensely boost your sex drive (oh darn). I would also suggest a pack of No Doze. It’s a straight shot of 200 milligrams of caffeine, about two cups of coffee. Have one with your multivitamin in the morning and you will be feeling really good.

3. Gym

Hit the gym three times a week. Just stick with basics. Arm curls, bench press, rowing machine and tricep pulls. Gym sessions should be between 30-45 minutes.

4. Floorwork

When you roll out of bed in the morning, hit the floor. Start with 20 jumping jacks to wake up and then alternate between:

Pushups (This is an example of a wide stance pushup. I alternate between wide, narrow, and diamond). Sorry for using a picture of me, but I had to show a perfect specimen of awesomeness (kidding).

After 10 pushups, I do 5 rear leg lifts with each leg. This will tone your butt.

Rear Leg Lift

Dead Cockroach (Bring feet and hands together, don’t half ass it like this queen)

Side Crunches (Don’t do full sit ups. They are stupid and don’t accomplish a lot. These will tone your side abs)

Here is a suggested set for a 15-20 minute floor workout.

20 jumping jacks

10 wide stance pushups and 5 leg lifts each leg

5 dead cockroaches

20 side crunches each side

20 jumping jacks

10 narrow stance pushups and 5 leg lifts each leg

10 dead cockr


20 side crunches each side

Repeat. Add sets as you get stronger. Yes, your abs will hurt at first. Tough it out. They will adapt.

5. Aerobic

You need to run hard enough to sweat at least three times a week. Just shoot for 20 minute short jogs at first. If you have trouble running, go for a 40 minute walk and build up to running. You absolute

ly need to break a sweat or you aren’t working hard enough. You may need to use the unholy triumvirate to accomplish your goals: Akon, Gaga, Ke$ha. They are surprisingly effective on an Ipod. I prefer Scooter but to each his own.

Use this chart to gauge your progress. Print it out and hang it on your refrigerator. Weigh yourself Day 1 and Day 7 and write down the results. As you complete exercises, check in the boxes. Good luck. I think you are going to kick ass. If you can survive 12 days of this, you will see improvements.

If not, you are a pathetic failure that will die alone, poor, unloved, and miserable.

Happy New Year,